Have you ever met someone who exudes beauty without really trying? It wasn’t in the clothes they wore or their physical appearance, it was the luminosity that surrounded them; a glow from within. That’s confidence—a timeless foundation of courage and poise that looks good on everyone. While it often seems to come effortlessly for those who have it, confidence is a garden you can grow with a little help.
We’re discussing the 9 best ways to be the most confident version of yourself through self-empowerment, resilience, and some helpful tools.
#1 Stop Negative Thoughts
You should be your biggest cheerleader—that is, if you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself. Psychotherapist Barry Michels shares his favorite tools with Goop. You must first challenge any negative conclusions (e.g. "this will be a disaster", "I could never do it") logically. "No one can know what they’ll be able to achieve in their own life", says Michels. "Then, shift perspective and be kind to yourself", he adds.
#2 Celebrate Your Wins
Too often we achieve a goal and then we move on to the next one, leaving no time in between to bask in the success. If you don’t stop to celebrate your wins, you’ll always find yourself simply chasing the next high. Be sure to congratulate yourself when you make progress, and take time to look back at how far you’ve come.
A simple nighttime trick is to count your blessings instead of sheep. Tally three wins you had that day—big or small—to add to your cheer bank.
#3 Get a boost from exercise
Work out not just for your physique but for overall well-being. "Exercise is a tool to release endorphins and serotonin, the feel-good hormones that leave you feeling happier and more confident", says Emilie Celine, facialist at Maison Ito and personal trainer. "When you care for and respect your body by nourishing it with nutritious food, rest and movement, overall confidence and quality of life skyrockets."
#4 Try visualization and meditation
Credit: Headspace channel on Youtube
Do you have a presentation or social event coming up? Deepak Chopra, MD, in a report at Oprah.com, recommends actually visualizing real-life situations where you’d like to step into a state of confidence and allowing the desired outcome to unfold in your mind. Meditation is also a scientifically-proven channel to boost your mood, concentration, and confidence in these social situations.
New to meditation? Try the Headspace app for everyday mindfulness.
#5 Focus on Your Own Journey
It’s common to either benchmark our achievements against others or worry about them judging our choices. "It’s not easy muting those critical voices", says Life Coach Ya'ara Segal, "but it's completely possible." Segal encourages her trainees to challenge those voices by asking them ‘why are you here?’ and ‘what’s the worst that could happen’? By facing the doubts head-on, you can break down any underlying fears and redirect your energy into the amazing outcome you initially were after.
#6 Smile More
For a quick pick-me-up, Life Coach Ya'ara Segal recommends a simple tip: smile. "It's affordable, accessible and immediately changes any perspective", says Segal. In fact, it’s not just a good habit, it’s science. Smiling creates a chemical reaction in your brain that lifts your mood and lowers stress in an instant.
#7 Reshape the reason you do things
Goal-setting is an inherent part of any self-growth plan, but can serve as a double-edged sword, says Ya’ara Segal, as we can sometimes be too hard on ourselves to achieve them. A small mind trick she recommends is to "change the word ‘should’ with the word ‘could.’"
That is, instead of I should lose three kilos, try I could lose three kilos if I put my mind to it! This reminds us we choose to do the things we do and associate the goal with our natural competence.
#8 Break your Goals into Smaller Pieces
Similar to the example above, someone who has a goal of losing weight can instead focus on smaller, direct goals like the following:
Eat two vegetables with every meal
Avoid processed sugars
Prepare work lunches and snacks the night before
These bite-sized goals are no longer about losing 10 kilos but rather about the journey to better health.
#9 Practice Self-care
Caring for your skin is the canvas to creating an outward glow. A 60 or 90-minute facial massage brings both a boost of skin confidence and utter relaxation that quiets undesirable noise. "The two facial massages I got were absolutely divine", says Enensaauas Rastrygina, a client of Maison Ito’s signature facials. "[Emilie] made my face glow and filled the void left by a long period of ignoring the need for self-care."
Want this result for yourself? Contact Emilie Celine at Maison Ito to book an online private coaching or a 60 or 90-minute confidence-boosting face massage.
Tell us, which self-confident tip will you definitely need into your routine today?
BY KALEENA STROUD & EMILIE CELINE